whisperoflov

I had a dream about him the other day. I still feel its nostalgia now. And it still kinda hurts me. The press of his cheek against mine, the way he smiled underneath dim lights. There was something strange about the whole thing. We'd be in a stuffy room one moment, a massive grass field the next. Telling each other things about ourselves,  all isolated from the world. I'm no fucking savior, but in the dream, i'd rescued him from himself.

There's something unflinchingly shiny about uptown Dubai. Go there, and you'll find out why skyscrapers are called as skyscrapers, you'll see it's all metal and steel, glassy reflections of an endlessly blue sky and palm trees and expensive restaurants and gold plated iphones , unapologetic-ally overpriced and the side walk burns bare feet and it whispers to you of promises of money as it melts the plastic soles on your ratty hand-me-down sneakers with the frayed laces and gum sticking to the vamp of your right shoe. Go in summer , you'll see pale legs everywhere , roasted pink by the hot sun. Male, female , old , young- the sun doesn't discriminate if you're white. it'll turn you all the pale hot pink of a over-boiled and under-seasoned chicken as you stand at the beach with your two piece bikinis and your too tight speedos and spf 50 sunscreen from banana boat. Your camera's blinking away one image after the other so later you can pick and ...

3:07 AM You want me to stay, I don't think that i can. It has come to the point where hearing your name spoken hurts, where seeing a picture of you makes me freeze. In horror? in terror? Well, i'm not sure anymore. 3:30 AM My room's a mess, and i'm a mess, and i'm practically spilling my inconsistency onto the paper for you to read. Or for no one, because no on is going to find this. Maybe, i'll burn it , and maybe the wisps of smoke will float into your window across the street and spell you to sleep. Maybe. 3:47 AM My hands are strained blue. The pen i'm using is leaky. But it's my favorite. It's the one you gave me six  years ago, at the fair. Said you got it just for me. I was very happy that day. I think you knew because you were too. We were always too influential, too close, too tight. I had wanted a best friend like you, but i didn't bargain for the pain. It's like cutting  a limb off. ( Why can't you want it ...